Dear Old Phart,
I used to live in a big, white, house. I did good things while there but I made one huge mistake. I had an affair with one of the help, even though I was married.
I was strongly villified for my mistake. Now the current occupant of my former residence has erred more frequently and egregiously, but he is given a “mulligan” (golf term for a do-over) for his mistakes.
Your problem is simple. You did not join the country club. After all, membership has its privileges. If you were a member of the club you would have been able to:
1) Golf every weekend. Weekdays too if you so desired.
2) Claim you were religious. Even if you didn’t attend church.
3) Say f.u. to kale.
4) Feast at the public trough. As long as you allowed fellow club members to feed at the trough with you.
5) Pork porn stars.
You were crucified during your time in office. If you were a member of the club, you would have been saved.
Dear Old Phart:
Is there any way to put 45 (President Trump-45th President) back in his mother’s vagina (poonburger)?
Dear Irreverrent Reverend:
Sister, there’s not enough lube in the world to squeeze that ego inflated cranium back into the primordial swamp from which it oozed.
All I can say is that I agree with what HBO talk show host Bill Maher stated about the last Presidential election. When asked if he voted for Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton he replied: “I didn’t vote for that whiney bitch. I voted for Hillary.”
Dear Old Phart,
My college roommate and I were engaged in a late night discussion on whether history is important. He argued it was and used the old bromide that “those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.” I countered that in this age of “fake facts” and instantaneous communication, words are not worth the paper they used to be written on.
What say you?
Yes We Were Stoned
Dear Yes We Were Stoned,
The short answer to your question is that history is important to history teachers but history teachers do not make history. Neither do history majors– unless they get a job in a field other than their major.
History is only important in a social darwinistic sense; that is, you do something based on what others have done or not done (history) that changes how both you and others act or react (making history).
For instance, let’s say you are not as smart as a history major but you inherit a large sum of money.
With this money you make investments and based upon your family legacy, people and banks give you more money. Over time people believe that you have a history of successful investment so they start to throw ever larger sums of money at you.
Then you convince people that not only are you smarter than a history major, but you are smarter than those who write the first draft of history–journalists.
When you convince all these people how smart you are, even though you’re not, then you can become President of the United States. Now that’s making history!
And that’s why you now find yourself living in the Stoned Age.