Mr. Hillary Clinton

Dear Old Phart,

I used to live in a big, white, house. I did good things while there but I made one huge mistake. I had an affair with one of the help, even though I was married.

I was strongly villified for my mistake. Now the current occupant of my former residence has erred more frequently and egregiously, but he is given a “mulligan”  (golf term for a do-over) for his mistakes.

What gives?


Dear Bill,

Your problem is simple. You did not join the country club. After all, membership has its privileges. If you were a member of the club you would have been able to:

1) Golf every weekend. Weekdays too if you so desired.

2) Claim you were religious. Even if you didn’t attend church.

3) Say f.u. to kale.

4) Feast at the public trough. As long as you allowed fellow club members to feed at the trough with you.

5) Pork porn stars.

You were crucified during your time in office. If you were a member of the club, you would have been saved.

Old Phart

Dolt 45

Dear Old Phart:

Is there any way to put 45 (President Trump-45th President) back in his mother’s vagina (poonburger)?

Irreverent Reverend

Dear Irreverrent Reverend:

Sister, there’s not enough lube in the world to squeeze that ego inflated cranium back into the primordial swamp from which it oozed.

All I can say is that I agree with what  HBO talk show host Bill Maher stated about the last Presidential election.  When asked if he voted for Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton he replied: “I didn’t vote for that whiney bitch. I voted for Hillary.”

Old Phart