Mr. Hillary Clinton

Dear Old Phart,

I used to live in a big, white, house. I did good things while there but I made one huge mistake. I had an affair with one of the help, even though I was married.

I was strongly villified for my mistake. Now the current occupant of my former residence has erred more frequently and egregiously, but he is given a “mulligan”  (golf term for a do-over) for his mistakes.

What gives?

Bill

Dear Bill,

Your problem is simple. You did not join the country club. After all, membership has its privileges. If you were a member of the club you would have been able to:

1) Golf every weekend. Weekdays too if you so desired.

2) Claim you were religious. Even if you didn’t attend church.

3) Say f.u. to kale.

4) Feast at the public trough. As long as you allowed fellow club members to feed at the trough with you.

5) Pork porn stars.

You were crucified during your time in office. If you were a member of the club, you would have been saved.

Old Phart

Trump Golfing

Dear Old Phart,

When President  Trump was a candidate, he criticized Obama for golfing so much. Now it seems Trump is always on the golf course. What gives?

Par For The Course

Dear Par For The Course,

According to Politifact, in the first 10 months of their Presidencies, Trump golfed 35 times while Obama golfed 24 times. Many of Trump’s golf outings have been at the Florida resort he owns called “Sea Lake.”

Now I need to take a moment  to explain why I am calling President Trump’s Florida resort Sea Lake. The real name of the resort is a Spanish phrase which translates to the English as Sea Lake. I am using the English translation because most of my readers don’t know Spanish and besides, we all know English is numero uno.

Also, it is unethical, if not illegal, for someone in government to use government resources for private gain. I know our President; being the ethical, virtuous person he is; would never think of using the government to enrich himself. So I am only protecting the President by not using the club’s Spanish name.

So to answer your question, why is the President golfing so much when he criticized the previous President for doing that?  The answer is, who cares? If you are a real Trump supporter, all you really care about is that he drains the swamp in Washington, D.C.

And he is doing just that. He is draining the swamp and filling it up with his own mara lago.

Old Phart